How do you Show
Not Tell to someone who has never seen what you are talking about?
Description
should include more than flat colors and shapes. Use detail, use lots of
adjectives and adverbs. Adjectives are “a word or phrase naming an attribute,
added to or grammatically related to a noun to modify or describe it.” An
adverb is “a word or phrase that modifies or qualifies an adjective, verb, or
other adverb or a word group, expressing a relation of place, time,
circumstance, manner, cause, degree, etc. (e.g., gently, quite, then, there ).”
[Definitions provided by Google]
Use
analogies to help “describe” an item, but be sure to use something of relative
familiarity as the comparison. Analogies are “comparisons between two things,
typically on the basis of their structure and for the purpose of explanation or
clarification.” For instance, if I wanted to describe Duckpin bowling I could
either say the bowling ball is about 4 ½-inches wide or I could say that the bowling
ball is like holding a firm grapefruit in your hand. Using the analogy rather
than the simple measurement makes the description a little more interesting and
emotional. Close your eyes and realistically FEEL holding a 4 ½-inch ball in
your hand; now imagine holding a firm grapefruit in your hand. Which description
makes you FEEL the ball?
Do you
remember the old IQ tests that spanned the Internet with the NAMES of colors
written in other colors? RED was written in bright yellow; BLUE was written in
pink; BLACK was written in green… People often had a hard time rattling off the
name of the color without a bit of thought. Written words are often flat and
unless you have familiarity with the item being mentioned, all you can “see”
are the letters, they don’t have much meaning otherwise. Use textures,
temperatures, sounds, echoes, and any attributes that would enable you to see
something in your mind. An example of this would be the narrow hallway with sharp corners and a hard, flat surface that
goes from floor to ceiling with nothing to interrupt the confinement of the
cocoon.
When you are
describing a character’s emotional state, don’t rely on saying he is angry, she
is sad, he is scared or she is determined. Describe their actions, let your
readers know about doors being slammed, the sleeve wiping away tears, someone
clutching their chest after a sudden scare, or the character pushing her way
through a crowded meeting room to answer a ringing phone. Describe the
interactions between characters, the tone of their voices, or mention how
people around them are looking in their direction because of the volume of
their conversation. Add dimension to your story by using details.
Writing Exercise: Describe the room you are sitting in,
really describe it. Use as many adjectives, adverbs and analogies as necessary
to truly PAINT the picture.
Writing Prompt: Write your favorite color; your favorite
animal; your favorite kind of music; and your favorite food. Describe each
favorite using common objects, sensations, smells, sounds, and analogies.
Challenge Assignment:
Try describing your surroundings to someone who has been blind for life,
they have no idea what blue is or the (visual) ability to compare two objects
to each other if they are not familiar with either, but somehow they can
visualize a sunset, a park, a beautiful woman through YOUR words. Write two to
four paragraphs describing a setting so that anyone reading your words can see
it in their mind.
