What do you notice about a person when you first meet
him/her? For me it’s the eyes, the shoulders (especially in a man), the smile
(or lack of), and sometimes the hands. The eyes are the most important to me
—is he looking at me or avoiding my gaze? What do I see in those eyes, are they
red, overtired, drunk?
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul so what
better way can you introduce your character(s) to your readers?
Eyes are more than color or size. How would you feel if I
described someone’s brown eyes as the color of delicious milk chocolate? How
would you feel if I described someone’s brown eyes as the color of manure? I
think you will agree that using the metaphors help to paint two very different
personalities. Saying someone has big or small eyes bears little information
without some kind of comparison; her big chocolate brown eyes seemed to fill
her laughing face, or his pin-point gaze seemed to slice right through me.
Definitely different personalities and so much information for your audience.
One of the biggest mistakes new writers make is to put an
action into something like a character’s eyes like His eyes darted across the
room and they finally settled on me, or His eyes laughed at my discomfit. Can
you imagine someone’s eyes (eyeballs) jumping across a room and landing on someone’s
physical being? UGH! Or what do the eyeballs sound like when they laugh? Unless
you are describing cartoon characters where you can assign these actions to
their eyeballs, choose your words carefully. How about “His gaze darted through
the room and finally settled on me” or “I could feel his derision behind his
gaze”.
Make sure you utilize expressive forms of expression through
physical attributes. Describe the color, size and clarity of a character’s eyes
with words that fit the personality you want to portray. Don’t describe your
villain’s eyes with warm and loving attributes, describe how he keeps averting
his gaze, how the forced warmth of his voice doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Your
big strong hero or heroine can show interest with a focused gaze as he listens
to someone’s every word.
Be sure to describe your protagonist with positive
descriptions and your readers will cheer.
Writing
Exercise: Write descriptions
for your physical attributes including the eyes. Do the same for your boss,
your best friend, your childhood enemy (all grown up), and anyone you regularly
do business with (such as a grocer, a newspaper vendor, your automotive
mechanic, etc)
Writing
Prompt: Make a list of (eye)
descriptions you would use for anger, happiness, love, worry, lying, sadness,
and desire.
Challenge
Assignment: Remember back to an emotional event in your childhood and
write it down on paper including all of the participants. Use as much
description about the eyes as possible.
